National Institutes of Health, National Library of Medicine, Postpartum Care of the New Mother, December 2020.American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, A Partner's Guide to Pregnancy, April 2019., Your Guide to Pregnancy Hormones, January 2021., Postpartum Symptoms and Solutions, September 2021., Postpartum Recovery Timeline, March 2021., Your Guide to Sex After Giving Birth, August 2020.What to Expect the First Year, 3rd edition, Heidi Murkoff.What to Expect When You're Expecting, 5th edition, Heidi Murkoff.When you’re ready to take a stab at the actual act, remember this: Lots of foreplay and lubrication will definitely help things go more smoothly. And, of course, if you’re having any lingering pain, symptoms of depression or other postpartum complications, make an appointment to get checked out. If not, talk to your doctor about your low postpartum libido. In time, you should be ready to resume your sexual relationship. Kiss, cuddle, hold hands, give each other back rubs - whatever feels right. You might not be in the mood to have sex, but you can still be physically intimate. Even taking an evening walk or sipping a glass of wine together after the baby nods off can help you rekindle your relationship. A romantic dinner for two? Time to call a babysitter. When it comes to sex versus sleep, you might be surprised to learn that you’re both on the same page right now. What’s more attractive than a partner who does the laundry and cuddles a colicky baby? You and your partner can find other ways to solidify your physical and emotional bond: Remember, you don’t have to have sex to be intimate. What can you do if you’re experiencing a low libido? Meanwhile, there are steps you can take to heat things up. Your sex drive should return to its pre-pregnancy levels. If you're having an extended dry spell, know that it’s not forever. There’s even evidence to suggest that it can take 18 months or longer before many women find sex very or extremely pleasurable again. Still, it’s possible your sex drive may not return for months - even a year or longer, particularly if you’re breastfeeding. Just be sure to use birth control to avoid back-to-back pregnancies. If you’re physically in the clear per your doctor’s advice and you're up for an intimate encounter with your partner, have at it. Some new moms resume intimacy with a partner as soon as they’ve recovered from childbirth. Don’t let averages (or your friends’ personal experiences) rule what you do between the sheets. So when will you feel like doing it again? It can really vary from one woman to the next. Loss of libido during the first six weeks or so after the baby is born is completely normal. How long does a low postpartum libido last? At the same time, some new moms may not experience such dips in desire, and that’s completely normal too. Suffice it to say that it’s completely normal not to want to have sex after giving birth. In fact, a plethora of physical and emotional issues, from perineal pain and other soreness and discomfort to postpartum depression, can affect your postpartum sex drive. Some new moms are also self-conscious about their post-baby bodies. Not only are you dealing with lower estrogen, but you’re producing a hormone called prolactin that stimulates breast milk production - but can further dampen your sexual desire. Decreased estrogen levels may squelch your libido and lead to vaginal dryness, which can make sex painful. Plus, if you’re nursing, it’s a double whammy. After a few months, your baby will start sleeping for longer stretches, which means you can get more shut-eye too and have more time (and energy) for sex. You may not feel that you have time for yourself, let alone your relationship with your partner.įatigue is also a major factor in a decreased sex drive after giving birth. Wiping baby bottoms and laundering clothes spattered with spit-up can kill the mood. First-time moms, especially, may be adjusting to the responsibilities of parenthood. Let’s see: Now that you have a new little person (or people, in the case of multiples) in your care, your life has been turned upside down. Some women aren’t ready until the third month after giving birth, while many others wait until six months later. Even after your doctor has given you the green light, you may not feel like having sex. Your body needs time to recover, no matter whether you delivered vaginally or by C-section.īut don’t worry if you’re not yet in the mood to get your sexy on. While there’s no set timetable for resuming sex, many doctors recommend waiting four to six (or even eight) weeks. Women report dramatic changes in their intimate relationships in the weeks and months after having a baby. Lagging libido after childbirth happens to be extremely common.
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